Tuesday, March 1, 2011

My Wife is in the same situation.

Never, and I repeat never ask, or assume a women is pregnant. Hello, it’s called big girls! We have feelings too. Only is it acceptable to ask, “Oh is it a boy or girl?” or “When are you due?”, when the chick is ready to pop. . Here are a few hints to know when it’s appropriate to mention a woman’s belly:
  •   She’s waddling her way through the super market line up, one had on her lower back to support the weight
  •   She drops something and it takes great difficulty to pick up because her belly keeps getting in the way.
  •   If they start to get emotional and cry over something and then are yelling the next minute and then perfectly fine the next minute. Some women do this, but make sure there’s a belly.
  •   If it’s a smaller girl, when a basketball looks like it’s trying to escape her stomach.
  •   There appears to be a third nipple growing on their stomach
  •   Sometimes, and I haven’t seen this, but heard of it, you can see a foot or hand impression on her stomach. This means the baby is trying to escape it’s cave.
So unless you’ve seen some of these tips, don’t buy the fat girl her chocolate bar in the grocery store line up. What would I even do in the situation? Punch the dude? Correct him and walk away? Here’s what I would do; nod your head silently and accept the free chocolate bar and walk away, it just saved you $1.50!

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